Looks Like CJ2K Will Be in Uniform Week 1

ProFootballTalk: NFL Network’s Michael Lombardi said Tuesday night that the Titans are “ready to make an offer” that would get Chris Johnson under contract.

“They’ve opened up the bank vault. . . . . It looks like they’re going to pay him,” Lombardi said tuesday night, indicating a potential deal is possible by the end of the weekend.

   Now I don't want to jinx anything because I have him on one of my fantasy teams but it appears that all fantasy owners can breath easy because Chris Johnson will be between the tackles on September 11th, narrowly avoiding a view from his couch.  The real story here is what the hell have the Titans been waiting for? Has no one in their front office noticed that their starting quarterback is Matt Hasselbeck? Saying he's on the back nine of the career is an understatement, the dude hasn't played a full season since 2007 and has really never done anything noteworthy in his career but hand the ball off to Shaun Alexander.   

   Regardless of who's playing quarterback Chris Johnson is the definition of the game changer. He's got, "running away from the cops speed," as Gus Johnson so eloquently put it and is arguably the fastest man in the NFL.  He's been a top 5 runningback for the last three seasons yet he is one of the lowest paid, earning just over 500k. In an occupation where athletes are dying in their 40's because of what they do during their playing career this gross underpayment is unacceptable. Especially considering the Titans probably make more than that on his jersey sales alone.  With no guaranteed contracts and players getting hurt all the time CJ2K deserves to make money now, while he's young and healthy. Give him a nice fat signing bonus and some guaranteed money for the next 2-3 years then if he sucks and is constantly battling injuries when he's 29 you cut him or restructure his deal. 

    The Titans are going nowhere fast, but without Chris Johnson it would be surprising if they didn't get the first pick in next years draft.  However, lets hope the reports are true and the two sides are going to make a compromise that puts CJ2K on the field for game one.         

RAW Tonight

Monday Morning Blues

Fuck Mondays seriously. Whatever though another day and other dollar I guess. I feel like old grundel but at least im doing better then Hoff was when he made this drunken hamburger video. Guys a douche, wildcard non the least.

Was That It?

    So Irene is hitting us tomorrow right because there's no way the rain shower we got today was the ferocious storm everyone was hyping up. The picture taken above might not have been taken today but I'm sure you could have taken a similar one somewhere on the Cape. Ya, some branches got knocked down, some people lost power, there were some floods but this thing was wayy over hyped.  They were making this storm out to be the East Coast version of Katrina and it ended up having about as much intensity as J.D. Drew.  Don't give me that "Better safe that sorry" bullshit.  The fact is billions of dollars were wasted today.  I understand that weather is a scary thing because it's something we have no control over and that theses things can be unpredictable. However, you cannot tell me that when the storm hit North Carolina and was barley a category 1 hurricane officials up here couldn't have toned down the natural disatser relief effort.
    Fact is, last week forecasters started talking about how this could potentially be a category 4 hurricane and suddenly everyone turned into chicken little running around like the sky was falling.  On top of this Joe Blow over at the weather channel doesn't want to admit he's wrong and who would? I mean if I thought that I could say whatever I wanted with no repercussions and get some face time I absolutely would.  Then you get to stand out in the storm like a little kid so every 5 minutes the station can cut to a live feed of a you and you can tell them information they could have gotten by looking out a fucking window.
   The worst part about this is that it makes the Northeast look like a buncha pussies. Everyone and their mother is laughing at us.  You know how we think southerners are fucking crazy for freaking out over 3 inches of snow? That's what we look like to the people of Florida, Texas, Louisiana, etc. So maybe next time we should take the forecasts with a grain of salt and think our heads not our emotions.

This is a Joke Right?

The Guardain “It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.

Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth's atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.”

I guess this is what my taxes are paying for? You’d think the massive budget cuts for NASA would force them to focus on the important issues but I guess not. I am permanently indebted to the fine folks at NASA for inventing the microwave oven (how else would I be able to instantly enjoy a meal thats frozen on the outside and white hot on the inside?) but this is ridiculous.  What’s next if we don’t curb greenhouse gas emissions is Santa gonna stop bringing children gifts on Christmas?

Hurricane Irene Masturbating on the East Coast

I was so off on the hurricane thing. Everyone was freaking out about and im sitting here saying shit aint going to happen and all that jazz. Watching the news this AM and see that New York City is contemplating shutting power off. This shit is real as balls people. What the fuck is going to happen if New Yorkers cant use electricity. Stock market will crash and maybe the Yankees and Giants and Jets will get washed out to sea. We'll see what happens though. God Speed and God Bless.

Das Boot

Crosby's Brain Isnt Functiong to Well

Yahoo Sports - Another report came out earlier this week that Sidney Crosby(notes) had suffered a setback in his attempt to recover from concussion symptoms and would not be ready to start the NHL season in October as a result.

Poor Sidney. Poor Guy cant even get a skate in without peeling over and vomiting everything he ate for the last week. Concussions are a bitch and half, but this guy sounds like hes got some serious fuckin trama going on. As much as i dont like Crosby, because he put the game winner in against USA in the Olympics or cause he plays for the Penguins or because hes kinda a whiney little bitch, i like him a lot more then Ovechkin. Ovi is just an arrogant fuck. Ya hes good like real fuckin good. Scoring goals from the seat of his ass and wearing the fuck out of the gap in between his teeth and what not. But to me he's like the LeBron of the NHL. They do have plenty of things in common though. They have commercials, shitty teamates and no rings of a championship sort.

On a Serious Note i hope Crosby gets back soon, hell of player to watch. Im sure when he beats the B's in OT of the Conference Finals ill be wishing death upon him .

Das Boot

Tanton Doss Breaking Up Fights In B-More

Yahoo Sports - Before Thursday night's Ravens/Redskins game, Doss happened to see a fight at a Five Guys restaurant in Baltimore's Inner Harbor. He wasn't having it. Despite the fact that one guy had a knife, Doss intervened and broke up the fight.

Here's the report from Doss himself on Twitter:

Jus had to break up a fight at five guys. Baltimore is too ratchet!!!

I nearly jizzed when i read this article. Tanton Doss from the Ravens breaks up a fight at a Five Guys pizza. For the record ive never been but i heard good things. Anywho, this happened to go down in Baltimore the home of the setting for The Wire. Greatest show off tv right now, i dont know why its so great the characters and the story line just reel me in and i cant stop watching. I banged out all the seasons in about a month or less was addicted, actually thought i was in the show. Caught myself running and screaming "Omars coming! Omars Back" everytime my suitmate would walk dow the street. I wonder what corner this went down on. If it was a Barkdsale coner or Stanfield? RIP BODIE

Das Boot

Tunecheese Bustin His Dome Trying to do Kareem Campbell Stuff

Monsterandcritics.com - Lil Wayne needed nine stitches to close a bloody wound over his left eye after a skateboard accident. The bad boy rapper crashed at a park in St Louis, Missouri, and was rushed to a local hospital where he was treated and then released. The next morning, he sent out this tweet about the fall. - Twitter/Splash News.

What the fuck Lil Wayne, cant land a kickflip, comon get you shit together. Im not really a Weezy fan or Tunechi whatever the fuck that means. I was back in the day in like frosh sophmore year and the Carter 3 was sick. As of late not really vibing him to much. Anyway i dont know hat hes doing skateboarding and shit isnt he supposed to slanging rock or doing other gansta shit or stealing peoples stash money like Omar from The Wire. That dude mightve been gay but he was bad as fuck. Deff would kicked Tunecheeses ass or whatever he goes by.

Das Boot

Can the Bruins Please Get Their Shit Together

ESPN There doesn't seem to be any progress to report in the negotiations with restricted free agent Brad Marchand on a new contract. Marchand's agent Wade Arnott told CSNNE.com Thursday that there is a chance Marchand could arrive for camp which starts September 16 unsigned. 


Did someone forget to tell Peter Chiarelli that Marchand scored 11 goals and had 19 points in the playoffs this year? Seriously I don't care if he wants all the tea in China, give the man what he wants and get him on the ice.  A 2nd line composed of Marchand and Bergeron could be a force to be reckoned with, and providing they both stay healthy the tag team could be around as long as Al Davis. On top of this Marchand is one of those players in the NHL that teams keep an eye out for not necessarily because he's a playmaker but because he has the ability to ruffle the feathers of opponents.  Just look at how the Sedin sisters fell apart in the Stanley Cup Final.  Bottom line is even when he's not showing up on the score sheet Marchand has a huge impact on the game and needs to be locked up now before his stock goes up any higher.   

Can You Smell It?!

Well its almost that time of year again. Kids are pissed off about school starting, high school double sessions, mother and fathers finally ready to send there kids off to school so they can get some afternoon delight without the kids being around and most importantly college fuckin' football. College football may be the greatest thing in the entire world rivaling internet porn. There is just something about it, waking up on a saturday mornign fresh off a hangover and the tatse of vommit in your mouth, pour yourself a bowl of lucky charms and put the tube on to see Lee Corso making and ass out of himself or Lou Holtz slurring his words like the jerryatric fuck he is. (but seriously hes old and im worried about it) College ball is not like the pros, a bunch of assholes holding out camp and what not so they can make a extra couple mil a year. There kids 18 - 22ish that just are there to play football, not attend classes, seriosuly fuck classes. There just playing ball to get to the show.

As many of you know there has been much controvesery this offseason. Starting with the shit eater Cam Newton and his agent drama, Jim Kelly in Oregon, The Buckeyes Breakdown losing Jim Tressel and Terrell Pryor, and the latest with THE U and LSU Beatdown. Look all this shit happens with the agents and buying kids shit. This has been going on for years and all of sudden its a huge fuckin problem. People gotta Relax and just let nature happen. Just cause you get rid of Terrell Pryor doesnt mean that a kid that plays for any other team in the country isnt going to accept ot sell gift for some cash. Kids will be kills and so will athletes with egos. If theres one thing that people should be fixing is the god forsaken awful BCS bowlshit. I cant even get into how awful it is. Make a playoff system for christ sake....oh wait will that cost money? Thats right the BCS brings in money and thats why itll never go anytime soon. So are the people behind the BCS ju

st as bad as the kids accepting escalades and hookers and blow and yachts and selling shit for tatts. Yes they are, the only difference is that the kids who do this shit arent professionsals like the people making decisions. So at the end of the day you cant blame the kids playing the game.

All in all ya college football may be corrupt, but that doesnt mean im not going to get a hard on when i watch the Fighting Irish on a

Saturday night take it into overtime and play "Hail to the Victor when they win. I like it, i love it, i want to watch college football all year long.

-Das Boot

Punch Drunk Sports

Welcome to Punch Drunk Sports Blog, bringing you your daily dose of nonsense, booze, sex, drugs, sports and more drugs and booze. A little background on the writers of P.D. we have no degree in writing anything, I myself barely graduated high school. We lack in degrees and grammar but we have points to be made and at the end of the day that's all that matters. We're like the WWE when they were in the WWF Attitude era, we talk shit, smash you with trash cans and steel chairs and we dont give a fuck what the man says. I hope you enjoy the blog and let the blogging begin....

Das Boot

Luscious Lou