Man Steals Sex Toy At Knife Point...Still At Large

TSG:  In a bid to capture the armed robber who last month stole a $250 sex doll from an Iowa City adult store, police today released a surveillance photo showing the suspect making off with the item.

Before releasing the store surveillance photo, cops pixelated it to obscure explicit images on the box of the “Fuck Me Silly #1” model “mega masturbator.” As previously reported, the stolen 20-pound sex doll is described by its manufacturer as “the most realistic piece of ass you ever fucked...Slap that big round ass and listen to the whack...it sounds and feels just like a real ass!”

According to police, the robber displayed a large hunting knife to a Romantix employee before leaving with the sex doll (the box for which is seen above). Cops described the suspect as a “white male, approximately 5'8" - 5'10", 165 lbs.”

In return for information leading to the man’s arrest, Iowa City Area CrimeStoppers is offering an award of up to $1000.

     So it's safe to say that they're not gonna be getting their plastic ass in any kind of sellable shape.  Those things look cool and all but how the fuck does that shit work? Like obviously you put the thing in the microwave to heat it up and then pretend its some two dollar whore or Modonna or some shit but how does clean up work? That's always been the great mystery of male sex toys. Does dyson have some 2-in-1 sex toy cleaner/blow job machine? Like it must feel bad enough fucking a plastic ass,  imagine how degrading it feels to fucking go in there with lysol wipes or some shit and clean it out.  They should make Mr. Clean dildos that jizz windex or some shit to clean that shit out.  They'd obviously have to be small so you don't stretch that shit out but I feel like strapping on a cleaning dildo would be slightly less humiliating than cleaning it with your tears right?  Like imagine you just finished fucking this plastic ass now you gotta lug the 20 pound hunk of plastic full of splooge to the bathroom so you can wash it out. That's some depressing shit right there.  
    


P.S. What's kinda ironic about this is if this guy get's caught he's gonna be some dude's 165 pound, self-cleaning sex toy in prison.