GB: In a statement issued by the Catholic church in Scotland, Cardinal Keith O’Brien has addressed allegations made against him by five priests within the church, and admitted that his “sexual conduct” has been “below the standards expected” of him.
So I realize that this news is about as surprising as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west but you can't help but laugh. Has there ever been a group that has lierally demonized a behavior while still participating in it? I suppose if you look hard enough everyone is a hypocrite, but the Catholic Church just continues to out do itself.
There's something inherently funny about the thought of two priests giving it to each other. My head just instantly fills with important life questions that have no answers like: What's Jesus's policy on reach arounds? Do they drip prayer candle wax on each other's chest? Do they use a safe word or do they just ring the altar bells?
In all seriousness though it's good to see that at least one person in the church is into saggy old balls instead of boinking little kids. Maybe the good people over at Christian Mingle will set up a section just for priests that would like to sample other priests' "holy water". I'm sure initially the Christian community will be outraged, but you get Don Draper to run an ad campaign explaining that it's an alternative to little kids getting diddled and I'm sure people will simmer down.
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