Jon Jones Is a Freak

     Admittedly, I am not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to MMA but watching Jon Jones do what he did tonight was incredible.  I imagine this would be how I would have felt after Kobe dropped 81 in 2006 if I didn't hate Kobe and the Lakers almost as much as I love Paul Pierce and the Celtics.

     Jon Jones just owned the entire night.  From his entrance, to the fight to the post victory interview it was just straight dominance.  He had the look of a college kid on the first nice day of spring when he was walking out of the tunnel to Bob Marley.  Then not only does he dominate Chale Sonnen he does so with Chale's own strategy, just to add an extra fuck you to the win.  Jones has a 10 inch reach advantage but decided he didn't care and was going to win the match by grappling/ pounding the shit out of Sonnen's face from two inches away.  The man is Jordan of his sport.  

PS Dana White would be idiotic if he didn't back up the Brinks truck and get Anderson Silva to fight Jon Jones.  

   

Woman Outed By Her Mother's Obituary Is Promptly Fired For Having the Gays

CBS Cleveland:  A former physical education teacher lost her job because of her relationship with another woman. The private life of former Bishop Watterson High School educator Carla Hale became public when her female partner was listed as a surviving family member in her mother’s obituary. Soon after the article was published, a parent anonymously notified the Roman Catholic Diocese of Columbus about Hale’s sexuality. A few weeks later, Hale was fired after 19 years of working at the school. 

     I can't decide what part is less shocking, that the female gym teacher was a lesbo or that a Catholic school terminated her employment when they found out she was gay.  Who's at fault here?  What was the school expecting when they hired a woman who's wardrobe consisted of nothing but tracksuits, white polos and khaki shorts?  Also, there's no way to know for sure but there's at least a 90% chance she was rocking the boys-regular from SuperCuts.  At the same time what was this woman thinking? Why would you choose to work at a place that views you as a second class citizen just because you enjoy keeping your genitalia in close proximity to other like it? 
     Imagine how miserable you have to be to scour through the obituaries for your kid's gym teacher's dead mother?  I'd bet the woman that reported the PE teacher to the school was just upset her fat piece of shit son got a lousy grade in health because he couldn't label the clitoris correctly.  If there were any mysteries surrounding the death of the lesbo's mother I totally just solved it. 

Just Manny Being Manny

     Gotta love Manny.  He's easily the best right-handed hitter to ever wear a Red Sox uniform.  I think there's a case to be made for Manny as the best right-handed hitter of all time.  There's no denying he is hands down in the top five most electrifying players in history.  Manny Ramirez in his prime was the people's champion of baseball.  His baggy pants and effortless swing made him a dream to watch. There will never be another threat in the middle of a lineup that is as scary to face as Manny was. Not only was he incredibly talented but he was incredibly clutch.

     Part of the reason it's been so tough to watch the Red Sox over the past few years is because they have lacked that dominant player.  When Manny was at the plate you stopped whatever you were doing and you watched.  You didn't care if you were on the phone, doing work, or on the computer you wanted to see what he was going to do.  Slowly, we must all come to grips with the reality that the Sox will never have a player like Manny again.  The sooner everyone accepts that the sooner we can enjoy the Red Sox as much as we did from 2001-2008.  

Is This The Worst Campaign Bumper Sticker of All Time?

     Believe it or not this is a real thing that an already elected official supports.  That's America for you I guess. I'm not really sure what this guy is getting at to be honest because last time I checked the criteria for being a baby included being born.  I thought any pre-birth thing was a fetus and then once it transcended the vagina it became a baby, but what do I know?

PS: This made me think of a phenomial dilemma.  If the government only allowed guns or abortions which would you want ?

Insufferable David Stern Fines KD 25k For A Making A Throat Slitting Motion After A Monster Dunk

The 4 Letter: The NBA has fined Oklahoma City star Kevin Durant $25,000 for making a "menacing gesture," when he pretended to slice his throat after throwing down a big dunk during the Thunder's victory against the Golden State Warriors on Thursday night.

Is this really the biggest thing David Stern has to worry about?  How many days until this guy retires? 25k is chunk change to Kevin Durant but that doesn't change the fact that he did nothing wrong.  While David Stern's at it why doesn't he fine anyone that has ever made the motion of holstering a gun after hitting a big shot.  The fact that Kevin Durant was asked what his intentions were after the game is almost as ridiculous as the fine.  It's pretty obvious why he did it.  He just made a monster dunk that completely demoralized the other team.  It's not like he did it because he secretly wants to kill everyone on the Warriors.

P.S. If LeBron pulls this no one says shit right?

Does Anyone Care If There Are Gay Football Players?

     All the major media outlets can't stop speculating about the possibility of their being an openly gay player in the NFL. Did I miss the memo about gays being slower than straight people? Is there some correlation between sexual preference and how well you can tackle?  Sure when I say "gay guy" you probably picture a dude wearing eyeliner and a tight pants not a linebacker, but last time I checked, the majority of straight dudes aren't professional athletes either.

     As a future undrafted free agent, I think it's worth reporting teams are asking players about their sexuality.  Also it's pretty entertaining to watch some of the NFL players out themselves as homophobes.  If you were first round talent headed into the draft you'd be crazy not say you were gay.  Workout on your pro day in a rainbow leotard leg warmers and lipstick.  Then say all the girls you dated were beards. You would automatically be drafted first because every team that passed on you would get called homophobes by the media.  There would be rallies at the stadium of every team that passed on you, no team wants that.  Then when you retire you write a tell all book about how you are really straight and you were just taking one for the team.  No matter how shitty your football career is you will get two go abouts on the media circuit.  Hell, they'll probably immortalize you in a 30 for 30 or something too.   

Can Someone Please Explain The Pray For Ware Movement?

     Talk about a first world problem.  Praying for a guy with a broken leg?  I don't understand all the support this guys is getting.  Dude broke is leg in a freak play.  I'm sure it hurt, but it's not like he was in the middle of the woods or in a battlefield.  Paramedics were headed over to him before he even made it over the bench area.  Sure it looked bad but at the end of the day it's just a broken leg.  The guys not going to lose his leg or his ability to walk so what's the big deal?
     There are literally an infinite number things people could be praying for but today the most pushing issue is that someone most people never head of two weeks ago and will forget about 2 weeks from now broke his leg.  Did I miss the part where we have doctors to heal the bone in stead of the prayers; like if everyone at home had just chanted The Our Father would he have been good to go for the second half?
     Isn't praying reserved for life and death situations that might not have an good outlook? Maybe I'm just an asshole but praying for a dude that broke his leg kinda seems like a waste of a prayer to me.  Either way he's going to get the bone reset and have a rod screwed in.  Unless the ambulance that took him to the hospital was struck by an asteroid his chances of death are zero.
     I realize the church is trying to capture the younger audience and I'm pretty sure I've figured out how they are going to do it.  I bet when you go in for reconciliation now instead of just making you do "Four Hail Marys and an Our Father" for using the lord's name in vain you gotta share a picture one Facebook and tweet your favorite bible verse out.

Red Sox Season Preview

     The Red Sox haven't been to the playoffs since 2009 and haven't won a playoff game since 2008. Barring an immense amount of luck that is not going to change this season.  There's an outside chance they get the second wildcard spot but it's a long shot. The AL East is going to be the most competitive division in baseball, and with Houston moving to the AL West that division is basically guaranteed a wildcard team.
     That being said I'm still excited for the season.  I think it's pretty safe to say they hit bottom last year.  I think they'll probably win between 79 and 83 games this year.  They'll be within reach of the second wildcard spot come September, but unless John Farrell is a miracle worker they won't have the starting pitching to make a run.
     This little recession in performance is awesome in my opinion. It's weeding out all the people who don't give a shit.  Ticket prices on the secondary market are way down.  I think I might be able to go to Fenway for the first time since I was in elementary school and not see a pink hat.  Now if we can just get John Henry and crew to stop playing Sweet Caroline in the middle of the 8th inning every night.

Guy Puts Up 10k For Anyone Who Wants To Debate The Book of Genesis

 Yahoo: Joseph Mastropaolo is taking a decidedly happy-go-lucky approach, saying he hopes the contest will improve future discussions on both sides of the argument. "The evolutionists thereafter could read that transcript and make their case a bit stronger on the next one they contend against and we can do the same," Mastropaolo told the Guardian. "We can read the transcript and not have to go through the same process over and over and over again without any let up, without any resolution."Mastropaolo’s plan is to put $10,000 of his own money into an escrow account. His debate opponent would be asked to do the same. They would then jointly agree on a judge based on a list of possible candidates. Mastropaolo said that any evidence presented in the trial must be “scientific, objective, valid, reliable and calibrated."

     As much as I want to give this guy a bunch of shit for choosing to ignore 6th grade science class and focus on this magical book I'm not going to. I want to focus on the whole argument set up; it's genius.  I didn't realize you could organize a formal debate like this.  Is there some kind of networking site where people organize these types of things?  Can I join up and get into a low stakes debate and work my way up the ranks?  I'd really like to explore my options here, I feel like they're limitless.  Can you pick which side of the debate you're on because that is kinda cheating.  Also, when the time comes for a tournament of champions in addition to judges can we hire time keepers and referees for the physical challenge portion of the debate. I think I could created some kind of hybrid Spartan Race/Spelling Bee organization that let's people debate each other.  With all these new sports networks there's a lot of air time up for grabs.  There's gotta be air time for a World Series of Arguing on one of these networks.  Anyone know how I can get in touch with Leslie Moonves?