Is Blake Griffin's Dunk Last Night The Most Overrated of All Time?

     Before you get your panties in a bunch let me start this blog off by saying that the play last night was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in the NBA. That being said, It was not an impressive dunk. I'll give you that it was a great play all day, every day but the dude barley touched the rim.  That'd be like calling a baseball that was hit 500 feet out of the Yankee Stadium but foul the best home run ever.  Im sorry, but Blake Griffin tapped 2 fingers on the rim that's not a dunk.  I don't think you can call it a lay up because he didn't lay it up, so we'll just call that a throw down but it's not a dunk.  Once again, is it an amazing play that takes you're breath away? Absolutely. Is it the most impressive play made this season and possibly of all time? One could argue that. Is the best dunk of the year?  Absolutely not.  

Is The NHL All-Star Weekend The Best In Sports?

    

     So after this weekend I'm ready to declare the NHL All-Star weekend the best in sports.  I've been saying for years that the NHL can easily compete with the NBA and MLB if they start marketing the players better and this entire weekend does just that.(Also, some love from ESPN every now and then might help.)  From the fantasy draft, to the skills competition, to the game, the entire weekend is almost perfect.  Granted, the quality of hockey during the actual game is pretty low it's entertaining nonetheless.  Unlike the Probowl where the lack of defense brings bordem in hockey it brings a Harlem Globetrotters like atmosphere to this game.  Players are making beautiful pasess, skill moves and shots all day long.  

     Unlike the MLB's home run derby the NHL skills competition is fresh and exciting.  It does a great job of displaying the skills and personalities of many different types of players in the NHL. While the NHL's skill competition seems to get better with each passing year the  NBA's equivalent is doing the exact opposite.  The NBA is filled with such prima donnas they can't even get the best players in the league to compete in it (I'm sorry but I don't want to see Gerald Green in the dunk contest).  

     I know all-star games in general are pretty universally disliked by the hardcore fans of each sport but you gotta realize that all-star games aren't marketed at the hardcore fans.  The entire point of an all-star game is so that people tune in to see their favorite player(s) and in doing so learn something new about the sport.  The NHL did an outstanding job with doing just that this year. 

     For example, not a lot of people outside of hardcore hockey land are familiar with the name Scott Hartnell, the Left Winger for the Flyers.  While I can't say I'm the biggest fan of Hartnell I really liked the mic'd up stuff NBC did with him.  (Sidenote: In what other sport has a guy said anytime he falls he's going to donate money to charity and then subsoquently every player on the field/ice/playing surface tries to knock him over? Great stuff.)  I hope the NHL keeps making improvements to the all-star weekend and everyone else gets their shit together so maybe I can watch an all-star game without wanting to gouge my eyes out. 

PS: How does the NHL get a better half time show for their all-star game than the NFL got for the Superbowl.  In what universe does Roger Goodell think 50 million people wanna see Madonna pretend she's singing while she drag her saggy tits all over the 50 yard line?

        

Dude Arrested For Beating People With Lightsabers

Oregon:A 33-year-old man who struck customers with light sabers at the Toys R Us at Hayden Island has been sentenced to 45 days jail and possible mental-health treatment.  David Allen Canterbury told Judge Kenneth Walker that he is already seeking mental-health treatment. Canterbury also apologized to his victims.
     Portland police said Canterbury swung the Star Wars sabers - one in each hand- at three customers on Dec. 14 at about 9:50 p.m. at the store at 1800 Jantzen Beach Center. He then carried the light sabers outside the store and swung at police. Officers tried to use a Taser to subdue him, but Canterbury successfully deflected one of the wires away. 
     Canterbury has been banned from Toys R Us. The judge did not give him additional time for violating the terms of his probation for a previous heroin-possession conviction.

     This might be the best story I blog about all year and I'm not even mad about it.  You got a crazy guy with not just one, but two lightsabers, just kicking ass and taking names at Toys R Us. Then, when the cops show up he pulls a total Luke Skywalker move and just swats the tazer away.  Now I'm not an anti-cop guy but in this situation what were they thinking? You can't subdue a Jedi master with a taser. That's like trying to hit a Randy Johnson fastball with a wiffleball bat.  Hey, while you're at it why don't you try to catch a Zdeno Chara slap shot in your mouth?

     All that being said, I wonder how the prison populous is going to respond when they find out this dude's in jail for assault with a lightsaber?  I'd imagine it'd be similar to the way they'd treat someone that was in jail for jerking off a dog except instead of barking like a dog while they were inside of you they'd probably just quote Yoda. 

(skip to 1:38 for line)

After Tonight I Have No Doubt In My Mind The NBA Is Fixed

 
     So for the second time this year I went to a Pacers v Celtics game on a Friday night at the Garden, and while this game was much more entertaining than the last it showed me without a shadow of a doubt that the refs fuck with the scores.
     The over/under for tonight's game was 174.5.  With 48 seconds to go the Celtics had the ball, the score 90-80, and the Pacers were not looking to foul.  Indiana got the ball back for what should have been their final possession when Mickael Pietrus fouled Indiana's Paul George hard.  They give Pietrus a phantom flagrant 1 and tacked on a technical for good measure.  This meant the Pacers got 3 free throws and the ball back.
     As a result the game was in reach for the Pacers and they decided to foul the Celtics, making them earn their win at the charity stripe.  This caused 11 points to be scored in the final 34 seconds when it was on pace for just 2. Instead of the total being of 172 (assuming the Pacers hit the 2 free throws from the Pietrus foul and Boston then kills the clock) the total is 181.  There is no chance in hell the line makers in Vegas are that good. I don't understand how one referee can go to jail for fixing games but none of the referees were involved in any way.  Not the ones on his crew, not even the ones he was having conversations over the phone from accross the country with every night.  Give me a fucking break.

Can Everyone Calm The Fuck Down About Gronk?

     

     So I've been listening to the Sports Hub and all they've been talking about is how the Patriots are fucked in the Super Bowl because Gronk has a high ankle sprain and will probably need surgery during the offseason. Cry me a fuckin river.  This is the fucking Super Bowl, the grandest stage of them all.  This is where legends are made.  So in no particular order here's a list of a few players transcending all sports that have overcome terrible injuries for a short period of time to achieve greatness:

1. Terrell Ownens Super Bowl XXXIX (9 rec 122 yrds) broken leg
2. Tiger Woods 2008 Masters  torn ACL
3. Curt Schilling 2004 ALCS/World Series injured right ankle 
4. Kirk Gibson 1988 World Series injured both knees and had stomach bug
5. Willis Reed 1970 NBA Final torn thigh muscle 

     As, you can see people have overcome just as much if not more than Gronk faces next weekend in Indy. Also to be totally honest we don't need Gronk to have six reception for a hundred yards and a touchdown.  They just need him on the field to block and to run the occasional route across the middle.  If he's open Brady throws it to him and he instantly goes down for a five yard gain.  If he's covered he's covered, thats one less guy that can cover Hernandez or Welker or anyone else for that matter.

     Injured or not, with the stats that Gronk has put up this season the Giants are gonna have to respect him until he shows he can't preform.

Real Life Buffalo Bill Eats Cat

AP:  A transient has been arrested after police say he skinned and ate a cat while camping inside a Phoenix warehouse and music venue.  Police found 24-year-old Russell Christopher Hofstad inside with his face painted and the cat's tail and intestines around his neck.  Hofstad told police he killed the cat because he was hungry. He also said he was going to use its skeleton as party decorations. 


     Before I say anything about this story let me start off with a comment on the pussification of America.    Are you telling me that we've been so obsessed with political correctness in this country we can't even call a hobo a fucking hobo? The dude fucking skinned a cat and wore its guts as a necklace but its too offensive to call him what he really is? Hell, you cant even call him a fucking homeless man you gotta call him a fucking transient.  What's next they're just going to have to call him a male because transient is offensive since he doesn't know that it is a word in the english language and it makes him feel like an idot. I don't understand why no one is allowed to feel stupid or lacking in any way to anyone else.  All men might be created equal but the equality then changes based on what you make of yourself.  
     Okay, rant over time to move onto the meat of a story. This guy is wearing cat intestines like Mardi Gras beads and no one is talking about it.  Wanna know why?  Because it wasn't a dog.  Don't get me wrong what this guy did was horrible but no one really gives a shit because it was cat and lets face it cats kinda suck once they're done being kittens.  
     I hope this guy doesn't get too long of a jail sentence I'm looking forward to his dinner party where he uses the skeleton as a center piece.  Unless I show up and he has a white poodle named Precious.  If that's the case I'm running away as fast as I can.  

Pats Win And Are Immediately Accused of Cheating

CBS:  Billy Cundiff didn’t know what down it was on Sunday when he rushed on to the field to try and kick a game tying field goal in the AFC Championship game, and it wasn’t his fault.

Baltimore Ravens kicking consultant Randy Brown told Angelo Cataldi and The Morning Team today on 94 WIP that the scoreboard in New England was incorrect during that final drive. “The scoreboard was one down behind, the entire last three plays, from what we understand,” Brown said. That caused Billy Cundiff to have to rush on to the field with just seconds left on the play clock to try and make the kick, which he missed.

When Cataldi asked Brown if he thought the Patriots did it it on purpose to gain an advantage, Brown replied, “I don’t think you can rule anything out in New England, can you?”

The Patriots were fined $250,000 and coach Bill Belichick fined $500,000 for violating league rules in 2007, when they were found to have videotaped the New York Jets defensive coaches giving signals.

Brown said that despite Cundiff missing the kick, the Ravens were still supporting each other. “The unity which we have, it’s really hard to describe it,” Brown said. “Very similar to that unity we had in Philadelphia (in 2004) when we went to the Super Bowl.” He also added that the players know they may not have even been in that game if not for Cundiff. “If it wasn’t for Billy Cundiff, and Ray Lewis, Joe Flacco, different times during the year, we wouldn’t have won 12 games,” Brown said.

     Hold one one second I need to clean the puke off my keyboard.... Ok we're good.  It's been a couple of years since the Patriots were successful in the playoffs so I forgot how every team bitches and whines about the Patriots winning.  I kinda missed it but if I had to rank the excuses of "Why we lost to the Patriots in the playoffs" over the years this is by far the worst.  If this guy on the Ravens thinks for one second that Bill Belichick even knows the scoreboard operators name he's fucking crazy.  The only time Bill ever talks to the scoreboard operator is when he's yelling at him for not playing enough  Bon Jovi.  

   I don't know what kind of scoreboard operators they have in Baltimore but the one in Foxboro sucks.  He's gotta be some combination of drunk and high during every game.  I went to the Vikings game in 2010 and he had the scoreboard and Jumbotron so messed up they ended up accidentally playing 10 seconds of "There's Something About Mary".  It's not like you need to go to Harvard and get a masters degree in scoreboard operation to get that job.  The application probably looks something like this: 

1. Can you read?
2. Do you have functioning fingers?
3. Can you count to 50?

  If you answered yes to all of these questions you have the job! (Pending an eye exam.)

     Why can't anyone lose with class?  When the Patriots lost to the Jets last year, you didn't hear them bitching that the Jets cheated or the refs blew the game like every other team that gets knocked out of the playoffs. 

PS: To all the cunts out there that say the Patriots haven't won anything since "Spy-gate" go fuck yourself.  The reason that Pats haven't won a Super Bowl since '04 isn't because they haven't been taping signs, it's because Peyton Manning and the Colts bitched so much when the Pats beat them in the playoffs that they completely changed the rules of the game so Peyton could get his ring.      

  

PPS: What the fuck is a kicking consultant? How is it different from a kicking coach? 

AFC Championship Game Preview

     Alright first off let me start this off by saying I'm a huge Patriots fan and while I may be looking through red and blue colored glasses I like to think that I'm not completely blind to the weaknesses of the Patriots and the strengths of the Ravens.  That being said the Ravens have very little chance of winning the game.
     I'll start with the Ravens defense.  The Ravens like to play a physical style of defense.  Unfortunately for them the core of their defense is aging and breaking down.  I believe this will inhibit their ability to play a physical style of defense for the entire sixty minutes; especially if the Patriots run their no huddle offense.
     The second reason the Ravens will not win on Sunday is because of their quarterback Joe Flacco.  Listen, I'm very aware that the Patriots had the 31st ranked pass defense during the regular season but hear me out.  For the first time in a long time the Patriots defense was at full strength, or at least as close to full strength as they're gonna get, and they absolutely manhandled one of the best rushing teams in the league. Assuming they continue their performance against the run and shut down Ray Rice, Flacco will be forced to throw all day.
     Now allow me to go on a small tangent on why Joe Flacco is an awful NFL player.  I realize that you don't need an elite quarterback to win it all. I also realize that the Ravens were prime examples of that in 2001 with Trent Dilfer.  However, Joe Flacco is simply not a leader.  He is essentially the anti-Brady.  For those of you not familar with Flacco's career up to this point here's an abridged version of his story.  Joe Flacco started his college career at Pittsburg and similar to Tom Brady at Michigan he had to fight for the starting job. That's where the similarities end.  Instead of working his ass off every week in practice to get the starting job he transfered to UDeleware, a 1-AA school where he was a sure thing to start.  Also, it should be noted Flacco was competing at Pittsburg with Tyler Palko (you know the kid that sucked it up for the Chiefs this year after Cassel went down?) while Brady was competing with Drew Hensen who was projected by many scouts to be the next big thing.
     I honestly think Joe Flacco just lacks the testicular fortitude that is required to play in the National Football League.  If the defense wasn't there to bail him out the Ravens would have lost to a team starting their third string, rookie quarterback. Joe Flacco will never lead his team to a Super Bowl because he lacks that competitive fire that all successful people have.
     Now in order to be as professional and non-biased as a crappy sports blog can be I'm going to layout the game plan that the Ravens would need to execute to perfection to defeat the Patriots.  The formula to beat the Patriots is clear:  take an early lead and keep the Patriot's offense off the field; it's difficult for a team to put up 50 points if they never have the ball.  They need to put pressure on Tom Brady and hit him to agitate that sore shoulder, as well as  disguise their coverages pre-snap.  Doing this will increase the chances of creating a turnover.
    All that being said I think the game will be close but in the end the Pat's will pull away with a 27-23 victory.

PS How awful is that 'stache?

Chick Offers BJ For McNuggets and is Promptly Arrested

Burbank Leader:  A Los Angeles woman was arrested after she offered sexual favors in exchange for chicken McNuggets, Burbank police said.  Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles reportedly opened customers’ car doors in the drive-thru of McDonald’s on the 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, asking for free chicken McNuggets in exchange for sexual favors, Officer Joshua Kendrick said.  A man told police Baseer approached him but he refused the offer. Baseer was arrested Wednesday on suspicion of prostitution.


   The weirdest thing about this story is that it doesn't mention her getting shot down at other restaurants.  There's no chance in hell  Mcdonalds was the first place she went to get food right? I mean I've never been to California so I'm not sure what the selection is for food but if you were gonna offer blow jobs for food wouldn't you start with steak dinner at the Capital Grill and work your way down from there? No way you go right to mystery meat Chicken McNuggets?  How is it even legal to call something chicken when it contains no chicken?  The only rational I can come up with for this lady is that it was 11 p.m. on a Wednesday so maybe McDonalds was the only place that was open. Even then out of the entire menu you go with the dollar McNuggets? At least spring for the Chicken Selects.  


PS: I know technically refuse is a totally legitimate word  choice when saying the guy turned down the blow job, but the connotations of refuse make it sound like the chick was tugging on his zipper while simultaneously ramming a giant dildo into his ass cheek and he shoved her away while telling her to fuck off. 


PPS: Since when did the main stream media become too high class to say blow job? If anything just saying "sexual favors" is worse because now I'm imagining all the crazy shit that only exists on the internet.