SF library installs computer privacy screens for more discreet porn-watching: In response to complaints about San Francisco Public Library visitors openly viewing explicit content, including pornography, the network has installed plastic screens to block monitors from people nearby.
I shit you not, that is a real article from a real newspaper. Seriously this is what our country has come to? I'm going to file this story in the pussification of America folder. Society is so messed up that we can't even tell people to not masturbate in public? Don't get me wrong I like to consider myself a quasi-libertarian but you gotta draw the line somewhere. Why doesn't San Francisco just put a giant neon sign that says: "Public Masturbation Encouraged!" outside of every library. I mean you have unlimited, free access to porn and little kids, install a roofie dispenser at the door and it's a one stop shop for sexual deviants. Now I can hear a couple of you playing devil's advocate thinking, "Well what if it's for research?"; "Censorship is bad."; and "Just because you're looking at porn doesn't mean you have to masturbate." You know what kind of people look at porn and don't masturbate? People like Ted Bundy and Timothy McVeigh. Don't worry though I think I found a solution that not only helps to keep away serial rapists and killers but put a dent in that giant debt the great state of California is in. People who want to look at porn in the library can pay 5 bucks for 10 color print outs of any naughty pics of their choice, a tube of lube and 5 minutes in the john. After that 5 minutes is up there is an overage fee of two dollars a minute. Based on the news article library porn is in such high demand California will be back in the black in no time.
P.S. Nancy Pelosi- I'm sure you're reading this and wondering why you never thought of this. No need to thank me just erect a statue in my honor when your state is saved.
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